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Is this genetically that we girls no matter of age or profession or status never seem to learn what is good and rational but we always run after irrational stupid and hurtful. How many times did we stumble on mr. Wrong and in our heads turned him in Mr. more than Right. The other day I was making a cake. It was a bit out of shape so I tried to put more cream it on the sides where the biscuit was missing. It was still out of shape, but with weird amounts of crème of some parts. Same is like with man. We see their flaws straight away this is not the problem, we are equipped to sense even more tricky and hidden stuff then something so obvious like that he is emotional, intellectual, commitment creep or God forbid alcoholic, junky, or mama’s boy.

Yes we know that right from the start. We know he is inadequate that he does not fit and no matter with how many layers of crème we try to patch it with its still going to be out of shape will still not fit and at the end we will have just have to deal with consequences without enjoying the ride.

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Instead to walk away, do something smart, like in a case of cake go to the first pastry they will make it for you, even decorate the son of the bitch for you all you have to do is to serve it and observe happy smile on your guests faces and pick up the compliments about your excellent baking skills,  not mess up the kitchen, yourself and end up desperate with the cake that looks like Picasso painted it on the edge on nervous break down. In the case of man, smart would beto turn around on your heel,  walk away from that kind of emotionally fucked up creep who will leave the gap size of Russia on your heart, and concentrate on somebody who really deserves you who will be happy like a lobster to be able just to pat your hair and tuck you to sleep every night. YES that would be smart, rational, mature, but no fun or whatever crazy stuff we tell ourselves in that moment. We usually decide to take a challenge; we bite a shit, and go for the one who will let us down more times than Scarlett O’Hara let down RhetButtler.

Taking about this, does in these situations really exist man and women approach. What if RhetButtler was a woman? Would he be able to finally find the power to say this legendary “frankly, darling,  I don’t give a deam’. Or would he just bite his tongue and be fully filled with hope that this time it will be different. This is what we girls do. We give them enormous number of chances, even give them a hints how do make us happy, after some time we give them the whole deam manual – written in a form of simple IF-THEN-ELSE statements. Emphasis is on SIMPLE. Does not work and it does not work not because they are stupid, or how feminists (that I personaly do not support but sometimes they have a point) say lower creatures. It is not even their fault. It’s us. We decided to bite this shit, to shush this inner voice in us that was telling us not to go into this street as it leads to nothing but pain and misery. We decided in instant of second only because of his _____(fill the colour, in my case blue) eyes, or the way how his shirt fit him that dayor his devilish smile to listen to this other voice which said  “come on darling we have been there, a little pain cannot kill you” . Hell cannot, it’s never a little pain, just our selective brain chooses to deceive us, and we buy this big fat lie and pay it big. All because of his blue eyes, because of the way how his shirt fits, or his devilish smile…

On and on, no matter how smart we are, no matter how educated, beautiful or how much self-esteem we have we will find ourselves trapped in a same game, break one more time our own rules, bite the bullet and let go. Sometimes is worth pain, sometimes not even that. When is finally the time when we decide to smash the last stupid butterfly , to kill this toxic illusion and to get serious? Is there such time? How to know when it is enough?

Next time about that…

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2 thoughts on “All About The Boy

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