Yesterday on TV in main news of the day there was reportage about demographic problem in China. As it seems China (?!) is also running into demographic recession due to the fact that women (yes always blame the women) are now educated and chasing career instead of husbands. Chinese government found it disgraceful that nowadays on every 100 000 girls, 117000 boys are born, and if the trend continues in favor of the ladies more and more guys will have nobody to marry given the fact that they will look only for somebody inside of China and only among their generation and that nobody will be gey, asexual or have some ‘exotic preferences ’, like sheep or hoovers (yes that also exists and it’s a fact so no need to be mortified ). In order to speed up mass production of the girls Chinese government came up with a quick solution – mass speed datings. And now, worried parents are dragging their busy kids like the cattle on the Saturday cattle market, hoping that they will meet future mating partner. I am sorry if it sounds vulgar but this is how it is. A Mother who was interviewed dragged her daughter there who SHE herself educated, raised, encouraged to be exactly what she is now, successful young woman who is fighting for her place under the business sun, and now it is all not good enough, as hell, she is again a failure as she is 24 has a PHD in whatever, managing the team of 26 people, speaks 4 languages and all Chinese dialects, and has no husband and 3 babies. What a looser of a daughter. Poor daughter who had to leave the evening round of meetings not to disappoint her worried mother and to prove that everything is ok with her. She went to this mass charade where in one hour you change 20 guys, speak 5 minutes with each of them, and at the end probably pick nobody and leave with feeling of being mentally raped.
Seriusly, some stuff should not go together, first is parents on dates. What is this? 4eyes principle? Why do you push your kids into dating and then not trusting their choice?
They did not want that anyway. It’s their life their time, their story.
Second is speed date! Hello?! Did we really give up too fast that this is even an option?!
What the hell was wrong with slow dating? Yes I know the fact that it is slow. Nowadays we want all instant. So we have fast eating that results in obesity, fast dating that results in divorces, the only stuff that was supposed to be really fast are fast lanes on airports and that results in longer waiting as everybody are going there.
I can’t pick my shoes fast, not to talk about life partner. You can if you have only 3 criteria, rich, handsome and successful. But people are so much more than a lists. There are so many layers of us, so many stuff that makes us who we are that deserves time to be discovered. Deserves is a key word. In this word the respect is built in.
If you have no time, or have no confidence in yourself (that you need to go to dates with member of your family) do not do it. That means that this is not what you need at this time.
Everybody likes to feel respected. Where is respect in speed dating?!
Another point… do not compare it to Hollywood, or Bollywood movies. Movies last 2 hours max and they are done based on scenario that somebody else wrote. These guys on the silver screen are just doing what somebody else told them to do. In two hours of time they must meet, fall in love, split, and come together again, this time seriously and this will last ever after, or till the next sequent. In Bollywood movies you just add a lot of dancing to this.
In real life you do not have to do it in 2 hours. You have all the time in the world, and you write the script plus play the main role in your own movie. This thought gives you a great power. The choice is yours what is going to happened you influence the stuff. You can the script take some parts out rewrite some stories model them as you whish as you are free to do it. But not in two hours.
Even then, even if you slow date somebody, there is no guarantee that this is going to be forever and ever , but you will happen to know one more person in your life, you will be richer for one more experience, for one more story that is going to stay with you. That’s already a big gain. Just play fair and give the deam time. Speed sucks.