This winter during my own personal crisis I saw again all episodes of Sex in the city.
I remember the time when this was popular to this point that even bakeries had muffins called Carry, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte and girls of any city were walking in the crowds of 4 playing the roles of one of them. They discussed important stuff as Birkin bags, pretended to be the best friends for life and drank cocktails. Each one of them had one role that fitted them at this moment. Only one. I think they have missed the point of sex in the city girls. They are four fully exaggerated layers of the woman of Millennium.
Most of us had crazy side, realized in real life or only in our fantasy but we were dating everything datable, ending up in the situations that are on the border with twilight zone, we had also at least one period in our lives when we thought that sex is the answer and again only in our heads or in real life, wanted to screw every random cute guy and send him away the next morning only for the fun. We have also been through romantic times when we finally wanted to meet our soul mate get married and have babies and perfect home. Some will go, or went through all this phases, some maybe not, but I am almost sure that every girl for one time in her life will have or had her own Mr. Big story. We all run once into some guy who has it all we ever wanted (or we think we ever wanted). He has looks, charms, brains and knows how to use it, class, stile, humor, who is nice and gentle but still rough enough to keep us satisfied…BUT also emotionally inaccessible, fucked up freak who will keep us miserable enough never to forget him and always to come back for more.
Yeah in life of every woman this is a must. Like a small black dress in her closet.
Mr. Bigs are not really our soul mates. They are something we do not need at all but they are something that we want and there is the catch. Because seriously, who would need somebody who is so deam perfect, and who will so deam disappoint you afterwards, make you miserable, sad, lonely give you so many sleepless nights, full head of open questions, but still remain the measure for every next guy who appears in your life after mr. Big. Mr. Bigs take us for a ride of our life, they give us the best times, make us experience the best of ourselves, fly us to the moon and back. The stuff is that he takes care that we fly high enough so the fall would be more painful. And it is painful. Basically it feels like somebody broke every bone in your body but left you only with functional head so that you can experience all the pain being totally sound and aware. You feel like you are drowning just you can see everybody around yourself breathing. Ok then you touch the bottom then what?
Then you push yourself back. Way back is as painful as fall as you have to pass through it all one more time to be able to learn the lesson. OK so what good out of Mr. Big then?
What do we need them for? Should we just turn and run away never look back the moment we see in someone just the hint of potential to be our Big? No. They have their purpose after all. The greatest benefit we get from this is that we grow up. After we survive this crazy rollercoaster of emotions and we meet ourselves again we wake up different on the other side of the tunnel. We smash the pink glasses they are out of fashion anyhow as fashion changed during our time of absence, put on our Ray Bans, put on the attitude, experience and the most important we grow our own wings, so that the next time when we find ourselves in the pink balloon and this pink balloon disperses we do not fall but we just fly away.
I am not saying that we will never fall for any Mr. Big again, or even for the same one. We probably will, as even this will not teach you to keep away. Keep away is not the answer you miss all the fun and this is definitely not worth. But maybe the answer is to fly differently.
With our own wings and as high as WE want and where WE want (why it always has to be the Moon, there are so many stars and planets in the sky). Another stuff, like girls in Sex in the city, it is always good to have somebody to catch us when we start falling so thumbs up for friends. They are our guardian angels.
Bigs happen in our life and they happen for the reason. If you are dealing with your own Mr. Big at the moment , enjoy the ride and enjoy it fully, but have survival kit always ready.