S: You are one mean, very mean person and the fact that you are lawyer just contributes to the obvious. What are you working pro-bono for devil himself?
M: You are not very much into lawyers these days aren’t you? Hahaha.
S: You are the living example why someone should not mess with that sort of hm..people. So tell me how does it work? You sit here all day in your fancy office and think how you can screw people in the best possible way then you declare it a law?
M: It depends on the perspective. You see it as a screwing up but I see it as a good deed. I do it actually to save the people.
S: Save? So your law about “Whatever can go wrong will go wrong” is there to save someone? From what? Happiness?
M: Yes.No. You just need to see a bigger picture. If a certain situation really goes that much wrong that means that this hasn’t been right for you at the first place. It is meant to protect you from even bigger catastrophe which will follow if it did not go wrong right at this spot.
S: But who are you to decide what is good what is bad for me?
M: Well it is my law.
S: But it’s my life.
M: People are greedy little creatures. They want it all. Sometimes you have to teach them to slow down.
S: Again it is you who decide, you who deal the cards. And I must say you are one quite twisted freak with a more than questionable capability for doing such a responsible work.
M: Hey show a little respect there would you?
S: Why should I? Isn’t the one of your stupid laws that says “Every kind action has a not –so-kind reaction”. So what is the purpose of being kind?
M: Are you trying to beat me up with my weapon?
S: Now you are sensitive. So you are above your own laws. Actually what messed you up that you have become such a freak. Did your mummy not love you enough; your daddy was the same coldblooded prick like you?
M: I am an orphan child.
S: Oh…I thought it must have been something with your childhood. I am sorry to hear that.
M: Oh…just don’t get emotional on me now. We are not here to talk about my childhood. Everybody has something that did not go well in their past that marked them: Look at yourself.
S: I am not writing lousy laws from hell. And I am not a lawyer. Besides you know there are certain people who can hm..maybe help you.
M: I do not need a help. I have my ways of dealing with life.
S: Oh seems like I have touched the painful spot. Everybody has it you know. But this is not the reason to spit your poison and frustration on innocent people.
M: People are not innocent. You are not innocent.
S: Excuse me???
M: All that you perceive as your personal screw up and you are now blaming me and my laws for, you did to somebody else. It is not me it is you. And this bitch Karma. I just make sure that justice is served.
S: So there is somebody you are scared of. Karma ha? What is the story there? Things did not work well?
M: How do you mean it?
S: Well you called her a bitch. There is something in this story.
M: I don’t want to talk about that.
S: Ok. For now. So explain how do you mean it I did it to somebody else.
M: This is what I was telling you about seeing a bigger picture. You just see small fragments. Let’s take an example. My law says: “The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.”., When you are the one who loves more you get pissed and curse my name but what you do not see is that at the same time there is some poor soul dying for you out there, and you torture him because you are so concentrated on the one who does not give a rats ass for you. So my law is actually very fair. You get what you deserve, and someone else gets his part of justice too. It is never one on one relationship, between you and only one person. There are many people who are touching our life, only that you are so concentrated on this particular one. But if you get out of your own limited world and see the bigger picture, you will notice that there are always a certain chains, what is somebody for you, you are for somebody else and so on…
S: Hm…how to break that chain and let’s say create a circle if you know what I mean..
M: I will give you a hint. In my law stands “someone”, not the “right one”.
S: But again it is your poor judgment who will be “someone” and who the “right one”.
M: No. It is your poor judgement.
S: Thank you for that one. It is not funny though but true. This is again because of your stupid law: Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
M: Oh look we finally found the one you have no objections to.
S: I did not say I have no objections, I just agree that it is like this. I did not say that it is not a screw up. This goes in a favour of all the damn handsome guys who happen to be emotionally challenged, the one I am talking to included, no offence. In fact, much more of your laws go in favour of guys.
M: Thank you I will try to take it as a compliment, given that is coming from you… This is again fair. If it is a brains that picks who will you fall in love with, handsome motherfuckers (there is no need for wording when I am talking to you) would not stand a chance. They are made handsome so that they also get some piece of cake. Who normal would have ever chosen the dish that looks so great and appealing knowing in advance that after you have eaten it you will vomit your soul out. So see it is fair after all.
S: It is not fair. I don’t want to vomit my soul out just that somebody gets the portion of love he anyway did not deserve.
M: Then do not swallow if you know what I mean hahaha…Don’t get emotionally attached. Uh…yes you can’t hahaha you are a woman. But come on there is also something good for you: The younger the better It was originally also written for the guys but nowadays it has become a certain kind of addiction among the ladies. A man in the house is worth two in the street. Ha this gives you pretty much space to move Virginity can be cured Ok that one is again a bit on the side of the guys but hey who wants to be a virgin nowadays. Before you find your handsome prince, you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs. This puts you right in the land of plenty isn’t it?
S: Fuck you.No. I should kiss the frogs and they get beauties plus no feelings, no obligations, pure joy and off you go. Like this: “The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feeling.” “A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn’t love her.” What shit is that??? Who did you write it with? Casanova himself?
M: Actually I did consult him on one or two but this one if fully his: “Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.” He was never much of a singer hahaha.
S: Aha you went out drinking and partying with questionable characters and in such blurred state of mind you wrote your laws? This is why today we have what we have. Why didn’t you for instance party with Anna Karenina?
M: Vronsky was faster then she found me too old. This is why I changed my attitude towards “The younger the better” being only for men.
S: Given that your laws are not written in any clear state of mind, I guess I should file a complaint and start the procedure for changing them. Who can I complain to? I mean it is my democratic right.
M: Sure. You can. I am the president of the Supreme Court as well and I am busy. It’s party season you know.