In land far, far away in “once upon time” time, every girls dream was to find her prince charming, to seal the deal with a big fairy tale wedding and of course, to live happy ever after. Some of them really did it big, what brought them worldwide fame and glory. Look at Cinderella for instance, poor girl, who was scrubbing floors with a tooth brush, mowing the loan with tweezers and living day after day under horrible cruelty and terror of her evil step mother and her step sisters. One day she got lucky, met her prince, pretended she was somebody else for a while, and before you can say “glass shoe” she had her dream wedding with over 1000 respectable guests (rumour says it that even great Leonardo da Vinci was there) plus festivities in that name all around the Kingdome. As she pretended for a while she was somebody else to get the prince on the hook, my assumption is that she also pretended later when it came “to live happily ever after”. However, we know they had fairy-talewedding, but we know nothing about their marriage. There were no paparazzi at that time. How did it end up? Most probable they stayed together till the end of time. One version is that they really lived happily ever after. Other says they stayed together just because at that time fairy tale divorce did not exist. Existed some other possibilities though, like chopping your spouse’s head for instance.
Even long time after “once upon time” times, Cinderella remained certain role model and inspiration for many young girls who dreamed about their royal wedding and prince charming. Nowadays, her popularity seams to drop.Rapidly. Less and less girls dream about royal wedding or any wedding in general, and among those who got married there is a significant number of those who dream about fairy tale divorce. Looking at the world’s statistic from previous year about marriages, number of marriages is decreasing and number of divorces is breaking the sky limits. Even though statistics is not going in the favour of institution of marriage, still when we say our fatal “I do” in front of our overwhelmed family and friends we do not think that one day we will find ourselves in front of the judge asking for magic “undo”. It is like with STD’s. You know there is a high possibility that you will earn it if you will fuck around without any protection, but you think it will not happen to you. Because you are a good guy. Well, here are the breaking news, viruses do not have very high moral criteria and do not give a rats ass about who is good who is bad. In viruses I also include this “viruses” that caused worldwide epidemics of divorces. And it happens also to a good guys. Richard Bach and his Lesly divorced. After he wrote several moving books about their eternal fatal love. You thought they knew it all, they have an insight in to the book of secrets called marriage. But at the end, even they had become part of the statics. What do we do wrong?How come that the echo of big words like “forever” at the end sounds more like “never”? I do not know, it is for some other story. Here goes about when it happens how to have fairy tale divorce? Basically, we all like to think about ourselves that we are good people full of humanity, we cry over less fortunate, we do charity actions and so on. I really do not know anybody who will say for him/herself that is a vindictive, evil, hateful, spiteful, son of a bitch and that his/her main mission is to kill and destroy people you claim to love or you have once loved. Sounds not so nice when you put it like this ha? Well this is how some people behave when it comes to the “big end”. Like if you hurt the other one who wants out, bring him to the rags, take all his past and future, it will be easier for you to handle that, you will be bigger and stronger in your eyes and you will be finally even. Who says that you have to be even? And who says that you are not even if you just accept the decision of the other person, and peacefully and civilized go separate ways? Because idiotic Hollywood movies put idiotic ideas in our heads that is fair to ruin the person you once loved and that this is the way you will get your satisfaction and this person will get a proper punishment for deciding that for whatever reason does not want to share the household with you anymore. In rage is so easy to forget to be human but it is more than worth. Not even because of this other person (some of them are real assholes to be honest, pity that decapitation is illegal) but because of yourself. Growing rage and resentment is like sticking your head in a toilet full of shit and open your mouth while doing that. It’s simply not good for you. Such emotions age you for at least 5 years. You will get wrinkles from it, heart problems and fat around your waist and your lips will start hanging down so after a while you will look like a bulldog. Maybe you will also get a tail and horns. Besides I have never heard that anybody returned to someone because somebody has been bad to him/her. To be honest, such dramas usually only hide pain produced by the loss. There has been a research made on the people who dragged their partners trough really tough divorces, about would they exchange all that they got in divorce for the partner they lost, and very big number said that they would gladly do it. Bottom line.
We are the one who create ourselves such drama because we cannot learn to accept that the other person possesses free will, and with it can do whatever he/she wants, even God forbid leave it he/she wants. Just because we had other plans for his/her life does not make it right to, first emotionally then in every other way blackmail this other person to change his/her opinion. This is not the matter of opinion. This is a matter of feelings. This person does not have feelings that are expected to make marriage work anymore. If it came to that point, something before had for sure gone really bad and when you look clearly at all that you will see that this is also no longer acceptable for you. Fairy tale simply gone bad, happens, its life. Face it. It hurts, I know, but it is like so. It might take days, nights, months, even a year to get it out of the system. Story about the loss will probably be told over 100 times to different or same family members, friends, random people on the street, beggars, street cleaners, lady in a shop, dogs, cats whoever and whatever has ears… The therapist might go crazy from listening to the same old story over and over again, but then one day it will be over. It must be. After all, one day the storm will calm down, and finally two grown up people, much different from those two who once said “forever” will be able to sit and to agree divorce terms like grown up people should do, respecting the best interest of the other one, and when the day comes they will goto the court like two friends, turn it all to fun, sign what there is to sign and say goodbye to one phase of their life in a good spirit and with a smile and honest “see you soon”. Think what this can do to your spirit. And this is what I call fairy tale divorce.